Sunday, December 13, 2009
I know.It's emo,and it has some resemblence to "Secret".Oh yeah,I forgot,just in case you don't know,just highlight the words if you can't see.The designs are abit too weird.....
1:18 PM; shattered
dreams.
Ah crap.My current situation really stinks,doesn't it?
Do I see my problems with my friends?Am I blinded by my own strategy?What happened,I lost.But I keep on wanting to win,even after my defeat.What is that?Foolishness bound in me,as stated in the Bible?
Yes,I will say sorry for every wrong thing I done,whether to an MGS person,or an SA guy.However,whether they forgive me or not is up to them.It makes me worried.Am I really gonna be forgiven?Is it going to work?
The Bible says forgive others,and let God do the rest.But I want my face.Why?Am I so full of pride that I wont back down after a loss?
Sean lectured me,Meiying too.And sometimes,I feel even some of my haters have been telling me to let go.I guess I really have to,but I don't see how that will give me benefit.I'll be honest;I can't sleep properly at night.I've been waking up at 3,just to find out that my problems are still there.
I'm not the kind of person my friends think I am.I guess Ruth probably feels more at ease without my talking to her everyday.Is it time now?Do I have to tear down all that I had built for the past 2-4 years,and start all over again,from the bottom of the league and work my way up to the top?
God,help me take away this problem,if this is Your will for me to get pass this problem,then I will submit to Your will....
I guess I'm gonna have to "tear down my everything"........
Do I see my problems with my friends?Am I blinded by my own strategy?What happened,I lost.But I keep on wanting to win,even after my defeat.What is that?Foolishness bound in me,as stated in the Bible?
Yes,I will say sorry for every wrong thing I done,whether to an MGS person,or an SA guy.However,whether they forgive me or not is up to them.It makes me worried.Am I really gonna be forgiven?Is it going to work?
The Bible says forgive others,and let God do the rest.But I want my face.Why?Am I so full of pride that I wont back down after a loss?
Sean lectured me,Meiying too.And sometimes,I feel even some of my haters have been telling me to let go.I guess I really have to,but I don't see how that will give me benefit.I'll be honest;I can't sleep properly at night.I've been waking up at 3,just to find out that my problems are still there.
I'm not the kind of person my friends think I am.I guess Ruth probably feels more at ease without my talking to her everyday.Is it time now?Do I have to tear down all that I had built for the past 2-4 years,and start all over again,from the bottom of the league and work my way up to the top?
God,help me take away this problem,if this is Your will for me to get pass this problem,then I will submit to Your will....
I guess I'm gonna have to "tear down my everything"........
12:39 PM; shattered
dreams.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I was reading Sean's blog an hour ago,and he gave me a clear detail of what it feels like to be backstabbed and having an unknown enemy,so I shal rant a little about that.
Why the hell can't people do it publicly?Either they are bloody cowards,or they are simply plain retarded fools.The only reason I used the word fools is cos I had exposed people before in primary school,and yes,I was caught in a major crime in primary school,so I had to backstab all my friends for that.
I'm super tired now(or not so),but I'll just stop here.No point wasting my breath on these suckers.
Why the hell can't people do it publicly?Either they are bloody cowards,or they are simply plain retarded fools.The only reason I used the word fools is cos I had exposed people before in primary school,and yes,I was caught in a major crime in primary school,so I had to backstab all my friends for that.
I'm super tired now(or not so),but I'll just stop here.No point wasting my breath on these suckers.
9:20 PM; shattered
dreams.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Currently listening to:Like A Knife-Secondhand Serenade
It's so hot outside.My eyes hurt from looking at the window.I've got Christmas skit rehearsal at church later.It's not gonna be a good day today man.......
Anyways,I got my Aino,and a new line.Took 2 days to get used to SE system(startup lags,Media Go,etc.)and controlling the camera properly,so that no random shots will be taken.
Yesterday also wasnt that good.Got scolded by JP for harassing people.And I got pangseh-ed by Joshua.And the Christmas party,chances are that it's compulsory,not good for Joshua,but it's a method for me to kill time,but not so much.I MAY go to Malaysia on the 11th(at night,9-10pm,damn it)for 3-4 days.
Good grief,I shall stop posting,the sun is getting on my nerves now
It's so hot outside.My eyes hurt from looking at the window.I've got Christmas skit rehearsal at church later.It's not gonna be a good day today man.......
Anyways,I got my Aino,and a new line.Took 2 days to get used to SE system(startup lags,Media Go,etc.)and controlling the camera properly,so that no random shots will be taken.
Yesterday also wasnt that good.Got scolded by JP for harassing people.And I got pangseh-ed by Joshua.And the Christmas party,chances are that it's compulsory,not good for Joshua,but it's a method for me to kill time,but not so much.I MAY go to Malaysia on the 11th(at night,9-10pm,damn it)for 3-4 days.
Good grief,I shall stop posting,the sun is getting on my nerves now
2:09 PM; shattered
dreams.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Currently listening to:Who Am I-Casting Crowns
It's amazing how one song,one sermon and one session with my church friend can actually change my whole life.I mean,I think I know what's lacking in my life!
During this whole year,the focus is on me and not on God.It feels like He isn't in the centre of my heart.I left Him,without me knowing it.
But yesterday,I have found my way back.
I learnt that worship isn't just about praising God at church,because we spend most of our time outside the church.So worship is more of how you live your life,and how certain incidents can be used as a method of worshipping Him.
After a fairly-short talk from Jasper to the Youth,I decided to imitate his quote
"You don't see to believe,you believe to see..."
The sermon yesterday was just awesome and powerful.Practically answered the questions inside of me for so long......
Maybe it's time I let go,and just let God take care of matters.....
It's amazing how one song,one sermon and one session with my church friend can actually change my whole life.I mean,I think I know what's lacking in my life!
During this whole year,the focus is on me and not on God.It feels like He isn't in the centre of my heart.I left Him,without me knowing it.
But yesterday,I have found my way back.
I learnt that worship isn't just about praising God at church,because we spend most of our time outside the church.So worship is more of how you live your life,and how certain incidents can be used as a method of worshipping Him.
After a fairly-short talk from Jasper to the Youth,I decided to imitate his quote
"You don't see to believe,you believe to see..."
The sermon yesterday was just awesome and powerful.Practically answered the questions inside of me for so long......
Maybe it's time I let go,and just let God take care of matters.....
11:23 AM; shattered
dreams.